Y'all, there’s something DIFFERENT in the air this year. I can feel it already. Do people say that every year? For the first time in a long while, I've spent the entire month in one place. It’s felt good. As much as I love to travel (especially if it means getting the hell out of LA, which I have a love/hate relationship with right now) The location stability allowed me to get right with myself. Start some new patterns.
I had a bit of an attitude problem for a hot sec if i’m being honest. Just being kind of a hater and letting my frustration with my own stagnancy leak into every corner of my life. I think it was a funny bit while it lasted, but then the bitterness started actually eating away at me and dug a deeper hole than the one I was already in. I hit a low point and came to the conclusion that no one else was gonna pull me out of it. My mindset had to change if I wanted different circumstances. I got a gratitude journal which felt really cheesy at first but two weeks in and holy shit these things dont fuck around. Life just feels much more...open? My vibration has totally shifted and my life seems to be reflecting it.
Photo by Lexi Hunsaker
Got back on stage this month, and with LIVE DRUMS THIS TIME. Was such a happy girl. Photo from School Night 1/15
I’m doing this thing where instead of having concrete resolutions for this year, I'm “planting seeds” instead. I'm only really in control of where I allocate my time and energy - not the outcomes. I like the whole seed idea because growth is a gradual, unpredictable thing. I’d like my approach to be a nurturing one, instead of grasping desperately for a sense of control over my goals. I know what I want to happen, but if it’s not that seed’s season to sprout, that’s not necessarily my fault. It also doesn’t mean I should stop watering it. With enough TLC, something’s bound to go well.
MALIA album MALIA album MALIA album i am so proud of her
Gonna keep this journal entry short, since of course I've left writing it until the very last second (it's 4 pm Jan 31). But I'll leave you with one final message: GO STREAM MALIA, BITCHES!!!!!!
Til next month,
Ash